55

10.

at the end of the day (I look like my mother...oiy)

55

14

Blowing kisses straight to you:)

54

Yours Truly

9.

After Coffee & first day of school  (didn't have time to post this morning with the before coffee pic)

54

8.

first day of school, before coffee.

13

53

Death and Rebirth.
Jenny said "you know it's o.k. to feel pretty."  And my mind started an instant argument, the argument is still going on in my head as I write this. It is not safe to feel pretty or beautiful. Being pretty and beautiful is what we are taught and told we should do for others but feeling pretty or beautiful that is something we can do for ourselves.  That is something inside.  If I can see how beautiful other women who are all different shapes and sizes are, I know need to start taking steps to feeling better about the way I look. No matter what shape, size or weight I am.
I can allow myself to feel o.k. about the way I look and accept myself as I look today.  It's 2011 I am safe now.

"Beauty has a lot to do with character."  Kevyn Aucoin   I really love that quote. 

12

Putting my feet up for the night. Sweet dreams:)

53

First day of school!!!! :-)

Another 52

52

52

7.

this is  my bad ass, I'm hunting spiders look. I'll write about it in my blog when I am finished, and I shower, cuz I feel creepy from the little freaks.

51

11

Birthday Night

All dressed up for dinner at the country club after my husband's golf tournament. Sounds stuffy, doesn't it. Oh, well...it is still an excuse to get dolled up:)

6.

half symmetrical?

Happy Birthday Portrait 10

51

5.

This is not current.  It was taken in the winter.  I have therapy in an hour.....and this is how I feel. 

50

I went out with my friends last night. At the end of the night we went to a place I was a waitress at in my early twenties.  They remolded a lot of it but the bathroom is still the same. I remember crying in that bathroom because I didn't understand it, I was a f-up. I could figure out why I kept on acting the way I did with men.  It was sad for a moment and then it really wasn't ...it is now 2011. 

50, love

9

Straight out of the shower. I must be crazy to be posting this!

49

49

4. mel·an·chol·y

some days are hard

48

Angela"s posing for us photo today made me smile :)  so this is my " Don't hate me because I'm cleaning my toilet shot."   Now I'm gonna go clean my toilet for real.

48!

I made a paper ring to wear on my finger to remember that it is 2011 and that I am safe.

It fell apart and so I made a second one.

A is for Alex.

YAY Alex!

Alex was the name of my Cabbage Patch doll.

School starts in four days.

FOUR!

Sometimes I cover my hand with my mouth because I am still scared of talking.

It take a lot of work to stay out of denial.

YAY for doing the work and staying out of the denial!!!

3.

He Leads Me Beside Quiet Waters
He Restores My Soul

8

Posing for all of you:)

Miss Phoebe

47

I was mindful of my emotions during the meditation part of my mindfulness and mediation group.  One of the ways to be mindful of your emotions is to pay attention to your emotions like you would to someone else sharing their emotions. That helped me not get caught up in my own stories, interpretation or attachments I was just with my emotions.  If someone else was feeling the way I was I would be sad for them.  I don't want to do what I do to myself in my own mind, I want to learn to be kinder to myself. 

2.

sleepless

47

(steppin' lightly)
(5)

1. you will never put your hands around my neck again

7

I just wanted to say here that as much as I want to take back everything, it is hard. It is good for me to post these pictures of myself, but it is also difficult for me to look at them. I'm actually about to cry as I type this. I'm trying to take pictures whenever I can fit it into my day because I'm so busy right now. Sometimes that it is in the morning, before I look presentable:) I'm definitely not a photographer, and you all are so good at this, and your pictures are so creative. I look at mine, and see bad things about myself, even though I know this isn't about what we look like. I've always cared too much about what everyone thinks of me. I'm really going to work on this, and I know that doing this is project is going to benefit me. I love all of you so much. You are all so brave and strong! Anyway...that is all that I wanted to say. Have a beautiful day:)

46

Namaste~6

Off to yoga

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hair, woman

I am doing another 45

I have other photos posted on here without makeup but this is really a no make up what so ever at all photo and this is a effed up hair photo and I don't mean sexy effed hair photo.   But I really love this dorky photo of me at Eve's with a superhero costume on. 

45

Let go let go let go let go let go let go let go.  Letting more and more go. 

5

My therapist gave this to me after our session.

45

ravenous