54,55,56,57

146

140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145

A lot of stuff happened.  I got behind.  Sorry.  Was today the 145th day?? xoxoxo

144,145,146

53

141, 142, 143

I survived Wisconsin Dells :)

56.

I'm on a ladder, cleaning out the gutters. Another beautiful day in Idaho.  We just arn't getting snow this year.
Thanksgiving was a lonely and sad day.  Nothing like a holiday as a painful reminder that I have no family.  It may sound selfish but I was sad that we weren't invited anywhere.  I tried to make it special for my son and sister.  I didn't want my sadness to ruin their day.  I made a small dinner and we watched Red Box movies all day.  And I cried.  I am much better now.  Finishing up the last of the fall yard work. Back to school on Monday after a week off.  I am thinking of you girls.

139, 140

139

137 138

Not a thing to prove.

138 HONESTY.

136 No photo

!

54. 55.

fighting monsters in my head all day, makes me tired.

my most FAVORITE book, ever.

136, 137

135

My plans were thwarted tonight by winter weather.  I was supposed to go to a concert with a friend but the roads are slippery.  So now I am gonna make some Tikka Masala, have a glass of wine and paint.  And my hair is curled ... it's been awhile.  My husband was the photographer tonight :) 

135 :-)

133 134

130, 131, 132 and Serendipity

  I collect the fortunes from fortune cookies, I have since high school.  At the time I received this one I was just coming to terms that I had PTSD shortly after I was lead to start reading Jenny's blog.  Something had a plan for me that I would meet a few life long kindred spirits.  There is goodness. Love you all.

134

I feel ill after what I talked about in therapy. But I went, I did the hard work of saying the painful things I've been needing to say. Now I am on the train; on my way to be with Jessieh. We go on. xo

127, 128, 129

133

52. 53.

Sunny and warm today on the playground.  Soon enough it will be covered in snow.

I looked pissed, but I wasn't.  It was such a beautiful day.

132

131

51.

you know that box of old pictures that we might all have in our closets, or garage?  The one with all the old pictures from our childhood and a bunches of random people we may not know?  I finally felt strong enough to look thru and throw all the pictures away that I don't want.  I have avoided these boxes for years, afraid of being triggered.  I had a few little speed bumps going through the boxes. But in therapy I have been learning to deal with reactions, flashbacks and triggers. I wish I could have burned them, but I don't have a fire pit.  I had a huge sense of relief and strength as I threw them in the trash.  Everyday can be a struggle to live in the 'right now.'  Today I feel stronger. Today is about 'right now.'

128, 129, 130

127

50

I know I haven't posted anything of myself lately. I will try to do Yoga Sunday tomorrow. In honor of my son Roman's birthday, I thought I would post a picture of something he drew, that always makes me smile.