I am really struggling tonight. I keep having thoughts that I should die. That it would be better for my children to have no mother than to have me for a mother. I will not act on these thoughts and I know at least some of this is related to fathers day this weekend. All sorts of confusing conflicting memories coming up. I am just really struggling. I have large amounts of time where I am doing really well but mixed in are the moments like right now where I feel terrible.
I had a really hard day the week before, thinking thoughts that I should die for reasons too. I love you and grateful we have our friendship and we are not facing all of this alone.
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