My laptop is broken. It is difficult to post with my phone.
I am really struggling tonight. I keep having thoughts that I should die. That it would be better for my children to have no mother than to have me for a mother. I will not act on these thoughts and I know at least some of this is related to fathers day this weekend. All sorts of confusing conflicting memories coming up. I am just really struggling. I have large amounts of time where I am doing really well but mixed in are the moments like right now where I feel terrible.